“Love making can produce a child, sex can produce pregnancy” ~Anonymousmale1
I once had a woman ask me if there was a difference between making love and having sex? I thought about that question for a while and while she stood there transfixed waiting for an answer I could think of nothing that really signified a real difference in the two. This was years ago and now that I am a bit wiser in life, I find that there are real differences in the two actions. However, as a young man they had never really occurred to me possibly because the entire action was situated around my achieving satisfaction during and after both.
If you noticed, I wrote “my” satisfaction, not our satisfaction. I said this because during this time in my life, everything was about me. My partners need and feelings were secondary to my own. I remember Bernie Mack, the late great comedian once in his routine made the statement that he was with a woman, and after a quick moment he achieved ejaculation. The woman looked at him and exclaimed, “You cum too fast!” He said he told her, “You cum too slow, we started at the same time!” He went on to say, “If I get mine, you better get yours or you’re shit outta fucking luck!”
As young men a lot of us feel this way and that’s unfortunate, but it happens. Then again as one of my longtime friends reminded me, what about all of those times when she got off first and before your reached that plateau she told you to stop because she had to go to work or someone was coming home soon? My friend, always the man who thinks in the end everything balances itself out.
Anyway, let me get back on topic if I may. There is a difference in the two, however there is one very big difference. That being that a man who you are not in a relationship with, cannot make love to you. Sounds strange I know and I am sure a few of you are scratching your heads at this moment asking if I have someway lost my mind in my absence. So, lets take this slowly and you tell me if you still think I am wrong, ok?
To make love, you have to be in love or at least on the verge of it. However, that doesn’t count if you are in love and he’s faking it just to fake making love to you. Understand? Now, the best part of this scenario is that a man who you are in a committed relationship with (meaning exclusive) can make love to you or even have sex with you if you so chose. Whereas on the other hand regardless of how long a guy that you decided to sleep with lasts in bed, it’s still just sex.
So the next time you tell your girlfriends that some guy you met at the bar the night before made love to you until just before you arrived at work, you’re actually telling a little white lie, lol. No, you simply had sex with a guy you hardly knew until the wee morning hours-thats all. It may have been good, but it wasn’t love-making, it was pure unadulterated sex. It’s ok though, you may have needed it and as long as he took care of your needs it should be cool. Please however, don’t confuse that marathon session with making love.
With love-making, it’s really not the quanity of the sex that makes it what it is, it’s the partner and what you and he mean to one another. Love making is being with a person you love and loves you as much or more. It’s him being gentle, caressing you, holding you and kissing you just the way you like. It’s you, and the man you love becoming one for a period of time (ok, longer may be better). It’s talking to one another to determine exactly when each of you will explode, allowing the other the chance to possibly explode at the same time, which of course is bliss. It’s being silly afterwards and cuddling until you both fall fulfilled but deeply asleep.
Always remember this, love making can produce a child, sex can produce pregnancy! There is a big difference in the types of conception, one generally ends in a wedding and the other ends in misery and child support, or worse, an abortion.
Now, the man who you share love with can also have sex with you and will occasionally do so. Especially when you two are running short on time, like before you leave the house for work, or right before your family arrives for dinner (quickie). Or he may want to do so simply because he yearns for you. As we all know, this too can be an enjoyable session.
Now we’ve already determined that you can have sex with any man, but you want to know one really important difference between having sex with the man you love and the man you just met? Privacy protection, is a very big difference between the two, oh and you can put STD’s, and unwanted pregnancy above this if you choose. Privacy is crucial to all adults, however with a man you are in a relationship with, if you chose to try something different no one will probably ever know.
On the other hand, the guy that you took home from the club, the guy who swore he wanted to make love to you(even though you both know it’s not really love-making), you can never be sure what he may tell others. Do you? So if you decide to get really freaky, and lets say, have him hit you in the ass with oranges while you masturbate, chances are he’s gonna tell someone. Let me rephrase that, he’s probably gonna tell a lot of people! So if people you don’t even know start calling you “Sunkist”, you should know why?
Hopefully this assist some of you in what is actual love-making and what is really nothing more that raw sex. However as I said before, there is nothing wrong with sex, just don’t try to rationalize what you did with a person who isn’t in love you by having mislabeled it. Because, regardless of how many orgasms he helped you to achieve, no matter how long he lasted or which positions you went through, the truth is, at the end of the night you just got fucked!
Everyone have a great day and I hope to hear from you soon.
